04-04-2002, 07:44 AM
As I am not a father my self I don’t really have the right to give advice on raising children.<br><br>A close friend of mine got in to the same situation with the courts and his children.<br><br>His children thought that they were going to run the house and that there was nothing that parent could do.<br><br>Now he was raised the same way as the rest of us, he is not an abusive person but the kids can push you to your limits at times. <br><br>Well they got to him one day he turned around and smacked his oldest girl.<br><br>This got him a date with the judge.<br><br>Unfortunately for him he lost in court and had to do a number of hours of community service and pay the court cost. <br><br>His kids held the upper hand and run amuck for almost a year, before he couldn’t stand it any longer. He turned one of his three over his knee. Of course this got him another date with the judge. <br><br>When he came to me with his plight I gave him a tip on teaching the reality of life to his children. <br><br>My advice to him was to pass the court cost on to the children, in other words cut back on the fringes that they were receiving to pay for court cost. <br><br>Then on the way to the courthouse stop by the county children’s village to show them where they will be living if they do not straighten up. <br><br>I told him to say that if you think your life style sucks now wait till you move here when the judge takes you away. <B>(no allowance no overnights with friends no going anywhere no nothing.)</B><br><br>He called me the next day and told me what happened, he took the other two kids out of school and took all of them to court after doing what I had suggested. <br><br>Well the kids called his bluff in court and went on with the lies until the judge started talking about taking the kids away to the county facilities where they would remain till they turned 18.<br><br>The oldest one he said fell flat in her seat when she herd the judge was calling for the bailiff to come and get the kids, the two younger ones started balling.<br><br>Then the truth started coming out the oldest one never considered that she would have her life style ripped out from under her. She started crying and begging the judge to let them go back home with their parents. Claiming that they were at fault not the parents. After that, life wasn’t perfect but they did finally come to an understanding.<br><br>Disciple is not meant to hurt your children but to get their attention focused as to what things really are. <br><br>I had a shortcoming many years ago with one of my nephews and I grabbed him by the front of his shirt with one hand and lifted him to the ceiling. He screamed at me and said “you are not allowed to this you can go to jail for this” my reply to him was “You keep doing the things that you are not suppose to do and I will keep doing the things that I am not suppose to do”.<br><br>After that I never had any more trouble with him after we came to an understanding. <br><br><br><B>Just remember to think about it is that you want to achieve before administrating discipline. <br><br>Remember to wait at least an hour or two or longer before administering. (Don’t be sorry – so Never do it when you are pissed off.)<br><br>Always talk to family and close friends about childrearing when it comes to things that you can’t handle.<br><br>Teach your children to “LOVE” not to FEAR or to HATE.</B><br><br><br><A HREF="http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/MESS6438/" target="_new">http://myweb.ecomplanet.com/MESS6438/</A> <br>Lookie See what the kids are up to.<br>Dave T. Clown